Fashion weak

Once upon a time, long, long ago, I used to be a model. An over-worked, poorly paid model. No complaints. It was fun while it lasted. I made a little money, a little name... and moved on.
The paltry sum I received barely paid my taxi bills, and if I spotted my face on wrappers and bill boards, I looked for a dark corner to hide in. Nope. Modelling was definitely not happening then.And I''m still not sure it''s happening now.
The thing is, fashion does not interest India. The reason is simple: fashion is too small, too disorganised, too ad hoc for it to be taken seriously by anyone — even dedicated fashionistas who make a living out of it.
With yet another Fashion Week upon us it''s time to take stock. And arrive at a few conclusions. Analysts claim it''s a Rs 180-crore business and still growing. Good, very good. Compare that to the worldwide figure of $35 billion. Where''s India in this burgeoning global market? Nowhere.
We are deluding ourselves if we think there are serious business people out there looking at us and saying, "Hmmm, now there''s a great investment opportunity". Sorry, we are a long, long way off from getting there. Not because we lack the talent or the vision. But because we simply don''t have the infrastructure.
An ambitious business isn''t built on five big name designers selling 500 pricey ''lehengas'' a year. Even at 2 lakhs a ''lehenga'', we are still talking small beer. Can these five designers boost production to 500,000 annually, if the demand were to be there? The answer is no.
Decades ago, when I participated in ramp shows across India, the audiences were made up of well-heeled ladies-who-lunch, often accompanied by lecherous spouses and noisy kids. These shows had little to do with fashion and everything to do with entertainment ("Kya cheez hai").
The ''designers'' of that era did not cultivate the media as aggressively as their current counterparts, but even those canny old biddies knew a thing or two about public relations. And yes, they made their mark and money putting heavily embroidered ''tents'' (salwar kameezes) together.
So you see, nothing has changed. Fashion remains a cottage industry. We are still stuck at the ''boutique'' stage. Nobody has gone beyond the garage-sale mentality. There are no volumes to speak of. Merchandising, stocking and retailing remain at an amateurish, micro-level.
Reputations and egos are bigger than sales and margins. While more and more entrants get into the fray with each passing season, the fact remains these are mere specks that do not impact business as such. And the worst sin of all is that there is little originality. It''s absurd but true that our most celebrated designers are also the most shameless ''remix'' artists on earth.
Take a look at any of the self-conscious ''collections''. What do you see? Dutch, recycled, Europe silhouettes, embellished with Zardozi. Has a single Indian designer so far managed to create an entirely new sensibility like the Japanese designers of the ''70s and ''80s? Where are our Miyakes and Yamamotos?
Why are we still a nation of wannabes and me-toos? And how silly is it to try and reinvent denim, for Christ''s sake? India''s genius has always rested in its rich and glorious craft traditions. What we''ve gifted global fashion is just that — our textures, textiles embroideries and embellishments. Nothing more. Twenty years from now, we''ll still be selling heavily encrusted moving tents under the guise of ''bridal wear''.
We''ll still have the gall to talk in lofty terms of ''haute couture'' and ''pret lines''. While in a dimly lit room somewhere, a lowly darzi will be tacking a fancy label onto a conceited designer''s latest folly, for the next Fashion Tamasha... er... Week.